Director, First Impressions And Other Curious Job Titles

The Age

Saturday June 2, 2007

Leon Gettler

SOME time ago, I walked into a business and was greeted by the receptionist who hadthe title "director of first impressions."

Look around, and you'll find signs of job title inflation. The renaming of positions is becoming more common. What seemed to be a huge trend in the days of the dotcom silliness is still around today.

Some of it makes sense. Westpac, for example, has a position of group executive, people and performance, and ANZ has renamed "human capital" as "people capital".

But there are other titles that are simply bizarre.

A survey last year by global headhunters Korn Ferry International identified titles like "chief cheerleader" (that would have to be the director of marketing), "chief inspiration officer", "director of decisions", "process change manager" and "general manager reporting to the general manager".

A few years ago, the magazine Fast Company ran a fascinating series called "Job titles of the future". Some examples: "chief acceleration officer" (leading the company into the future), "chief growth officer" and "chief imagination officer" (finding new ideas for the company to pursue), "notionologist" (researches popular culture to help clients incorporate it into their brand identities), "web archaeologist" (excavates information from clients' websites) and a "resultant" (basically, a business planning expert who implements recommendations).

What's driving this trend?

Some of it is about providing people with better career paths. It's also part of the trend that has given us flatter organisations. When there are fewer bodies around to do the work, there's less hierarchy; so people have to be distinguished in some way.

And it's also cheaper. Instead of giving people a pay rise, give them a fancy job title instead.

All of the above drives the trend, according to academics from Wharton Business School.

Or is it, as a professor there put it, "part of what is increasingly narcissistic generation"?

So how many wacky job titles have you come across? Do you have one? If you could choose a title to suit your job, what would it be?

Calling for submissions.COMMENTSHOW funny, as I am currently the "director of first impressions" at the company I work for. I even have business cards that say so. I find the whole thing quite hilarious, and have only given the cards to my friends to make them laugh! - Emma

I HAD one client, for all intents and purposes a chief executive, whose title was "fearless leader". He quickly earned a reputation as the company's "fearful leader". - Grizz

I ONCE worked in a resort where the official title of the cleaners was: "environmental services engineers" - true story. - Melgania

I RECEIVED a business card from the chief executive of a major Australian clothing line with the job title "supreme flight commander". Obviously tongue in cheek, but what a classic. - DVL

I USED to work in a restaurant where this one dishwasher preferred to be called the "underwater ceramic supervisor". Classic. - Hime

MY DAD used to be "overseas operations director" (he was ODD) and his boss was something like "general operations director" (GOD). - Victoria Smith

I WENT to a conference where the people managing the conference had the title "cognitive fun manager". - Scruff

MY PERSONAL favourite was at a university, which employed a "professor of innovation". How can I get a gig like that? - CG

© 2007 The Age

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